At the start of grade 9, I began taking classes at Toronto School of Circus Arts. Throughout high school, I have continuously grown and evolved as a student, then coach, at this circus school. For the past four years, circus has been my whimsical escape from mental health problems, the stress of school, and peer drama. The coaches whom I work alongside make me laugh, and soaring through the air on a trapeze makes me feel free. Circus is not an exercise or activity to me, it is a community. I decided to choose circus as a theme for my chapbook because I want to pay tribute to the inspiration and love circus has given my life.
Before starting the Writer’s Craft course this year, I had primarily only done academic writing. I had written a couple poems and a single short story in my spare time, though that was the extent of my creative writing journey. I was inspired to take this course because I enjoyed writing, and I enjoyed being creative… so creative writing seemed like a pretty logical fit.
When I first started, I mulled over every word, causing each sentence, stanza, or piece to bear heavy weight on my mind. Writing creatively was like drudging through thick, knee-high mud. Journal prompts required total concentration, but produced sparse answers. For the first few assignments due, I desperately wanted to drop the course because I didn’t think I was able to produce the work required. But over the year, words began slipping out of my mind and on to page with more ease. Writing became more fluid and enjoyable.
I distinctly remember a prompt in January, where I didn’t even think about the words I was writing, I just let the creative juices drive a flow of words. I wrote about the feeling of being underwater and coming up to gasp for air, which became an allegory for peace and survival. This was my favourite piece I wrote in this course. It is also one of the most unlabored pieces I wrote. It captured something deep inside me, honestly, without decoration but with beauty. I dislike almost every written assignment I have handed in for this course, and almost every journal prompt I wrote. But this 10 minute scribble satisfied me.
Now, my writing is more genuine: the correlation between my thoughts and my writing is more direct than it was a year ago. Of course, I have also learned tools and skills like the conventions of a slam poem or how to plan out a short story. Most importantly, writing is no longer as painful as it used to be.
UNDER THE BIG TOP 